Friday, January 29, 2010

I WAS sooo Excited

Today I thought I'd let you in on what goes through this mind of mine. I already put everything else on this blog, so guess I'll go ahead and blare and blate that too. (Don't you just love the expression "blare and blate"? My mom always uses it when somebody tells something they shouldn't have.)
Before I start my story I have to give you some background information. This week in Durango is what they call "Snowdown". I actually have no idea how to describe it since it's not a craft show, rodeo, or fair. Best I can tell it's a lot of drinking, eating, and other really weird contests held at bars and restaurants in town. They also have a parade tonight, which we may or may not go to depending on the weather.
Wednesday I stopped in Starbucks (I have a gift card I need to use) while the babies were at their museum class. As I was checking out I saw a newspaper with "Snowdown" written across the top of it.
(Now here's where the rest of the blog turns into what was going through my head. If it's in italics I was thinking it)
Oh! Maybe this will explain what in the world this Snowdown thing is.
I always flip through a newspaper or magazine to see if anything grabs my attention before I start reading. And here's what I immediately found.
At this point my heart is racing (and it wasn't the coffee).
Oh my goodness! I wonder what night it is? I'll just have to call the bookstore and find out.
I can't believe she's coming here; Durango's so liberal. Well, maybe she was already coming to do some hunting. Typical they'd have to make a jab at her about shooting inside a fence.
Oh my goodness, there probably won't be very many people there! I'll get to really talk to her.
Oh, she's going to just love me! I'll tell her about Jason's dad and show her Jason's bobcat picture...maybe she'll invite us hunting with her! Jason's going to die if we get to go hunting with Sarah Palin!
I'm going to get a picture with her! I'm so getting it blown up. I wonder where'd it look best in the house?
What am I going to wear? What would Sarah think was cute? I'm going to do my hair up like hers that night!
I can't believe this!
And then I really started to think.
I. can't. believe. this.
My heart still racing and my hands shaking, I started flipping through the paper...Only to discover the whole paper is a joke. It's called the Snowdown Sneer and it's a completely fake newspaper for this stupid, ridiculous Snowdown thing that I still don't understand.
You are mean and cruel, Durango! Just for that I'm still not going to recycle or eat organically!
Stomp. Stomp. Pout. Pout.

6 comments:

Unknown said...

Oh Jan, I am so sorry you got pulled into the Sneer's pranks. That is totally cruel. And, you're right, Snowdown is pretty much drinking & crazy contests. It was started as a way to keep the town from going crazy in the middle of winter. So they go crazy for a week. I know, I don't understand the logic either. But I am sorry - I would have loved to meet Sarah too.

Jill said...

I have to admit that I was reading your posted article and thinking very much like you were. "Wow! I can't believe Durango is starting to come around. Amazing. So cool." Then, like you, my gut dropped to hear it wasn't true. What a bunch of poops!

Shelly said...

Hehe, you're going to the parade "if weather permits". You've got to go to see all the crazies! This year's theme is "Life's a beach" so there will be lots of VERY underdressed people. If you guys do decide to go, park a little ways away and walk. It'll stink to get to and from the parade but you'll be thankful when you realize that some of those drunken crazies actually try to drive through downtown afterward.

PS - I'd have liked to meet Sarah too.

Mendi said...

That's just awful. Mean and awful. What's wrong with those people? So not funny.
I would love to meet Sarah too! and Yes, she would love you!

Stacy said...

That is so wrong...maybe I don't want to move to CO after all!! Wrong, I tell ya, Wrong!

Joseph said...

i think my favorite thing about the whole post is that you had to explain why you were in Starbucks... God knows you wouldn't have been there if you didn't have a gift card. I mean, do you SEE what they charge for a cup of coffee?!?! ;)