Arbor Day, Schmarber Day

This morning I attended a full blown, 2 hour, every elementary school in the district, tree extravaganza. Complete with songs, Kyle and Reed acting like 2 year olds, and me having a knock-down-drag out-fight with one of JR's teachers. (And since I probably shouldn't say which teacher it was, I'll just say that he only goes to this class twice a week, and doesn't do P.E. or art.)

First, JR.

Here's the only time I saw, and only picture I got, of the poor child. (More on why later.)

Kyle and Reed actually did good for about the first 15 minutes of the show. We saw Smokey the Bear, listened to the mayor talk, and made it through about 3 elementary performances.

Here's Kyle reading the program. Reed was in my lap. All was good.

Now had the Arbor Day Show (from here on out known as ADS) only been 15 minutes, we'd have been great. (And when you think about it, 15 minutes is a super long time for 2 year old twin boys to sit still.)

But the show wasn't 15 minutes, in fact, it was AN HOUR and FIFTEEN MINUTES before JR got up to "perform".

But before we get to JR's "performance", let's talk about what Kyle and Reed did for that hour in between:

(By this time I had moved to the corner of the gym with them.) They slapped each other with their caps, ran around on their squeaky shoes, cried when I took their squeaky shoes off, had to leave the show while they cried, ran out the gym and tried to run out the front door.

Needless to say after an hour of trying to keep them under control, I was frazzled. There was another little 2 year old boy there and they started running around with him. Unfortunately for me, they started running toward the performance area. Now the other mom and I were trying our best to keep them from running up there, but I think it's much more distracting to see kids plus and adult running past, so we didn't chase after them. They probably ran up there about 3 times, and apparently 3 times is all JR's teacher can take because she marched over to me and told me if I was going to let my kids run around (like I let them do that because I'm such an incompetent mom) then I need to take them outside.

Me: When are they going to sing? As soon as they sing, I'll leave. And, besides, YOU have kids. You should be more understanding.

(On a side note, this teacher happened to be eating out with her family the night we made all the napkin hats and accessories. Of course, we thought we were hilarious so we were all laughing and having a good time. Let's just say from the looks on her face then, she was not amused with us. But then again, her children were so well behaved they didn't need to make napkin hats.)

I also then told her: I'm tired of you being pissed (yes, I used the word "pissed") about my kids all the time. You basically stoped the show at Family Night to go give my kids 'go to hell looks' (Yep, I said that too. My mom is queen of the expression 'go to hell looks', and really, it is the best way to describe "that look".) I'm doing the best I can. If you don't want 'families' at Family Night or these shows, then don't invite the kids! (I didn't mention JR's "performance" at family night in this post since I was still huffy about the afore mentioned "looks" my kids were given.)

She then told me something about how I couldn't talk to her that way and walked off.

And here's the best part. So every other school in the district had performed by now. Some had poems and speaking parts, but almost everybody did a song. All of the songs were sung a cappella. And one of the schools even used sticks they had picked up in their yards to keep the beat (That was really cute.) So what was JR's "performance"? Well, his teacher turned on a CD of other kids singing to have our kids "sing" a long with. So yeah, I waited an hour and fifteen minutes for a lip sync number. Great. If I want to hear other kids singing I'll watch American Idol. And the other best part? JR was nowhere to be seen. Can you find him? Nope. Me neither.

So even though the ADS was a community event advertised all over the place, apparently 2 year old twins whose mother can't control them were not welcome by certain teachers. I wish they had put that in the flyer, it would have made my morning so much easier!

The Queen of Updates Too

Update 1-Praise The Lord! JR has given up on Turn off the TV Week. He made it two full days, and it wasn't even the TV that got him. It was the Nintendo. I found him playing that Nintendo like a man possessed. He did better than I could have done. I'm not sure I could have made it 2 hours.

Update 2- My parents made it back to Texas in record time. There was dust flying and tires screeching after my dad got a call from their house sitter that his peacocks were missing. (And I know that sounds like I'm trying to make some witty double entendre, but no, he literally got a call that the peacocks were gone.) As of this posting, the peacock search is still ongoing.


Update 3: All About Me- My cooking injury continues to remind me how my place is so not in the kitchen. Not only does it hurt and itch at the same time, but now I keep thinking I've got some freaky tattoo every time it catches my eye.

Queen of Dinner? Yep, That's Me.

Once again, I give you my amazing culinary skills.

And tonight my dinner menu was so spectacular my praises were sung by everyone under our roof.

31 cent scoop night at Baskin Robbins.

Dinner is served!

Besides ice cream, we also got to enjoy: balloons, the fire truck, and seeing pretty much every resident of Durango.

Brainwashed I Tell Ya!

JR came home from school yesterday and announced that he was participating in Turn off the TV Week. (It also includes DVDs, computer games, the Wii, and the Nintendo.) I, of course, would never encourage this kind of behavior since, to quote Clariee from Steel Magnolias, I "was raised right." And raised this way I was. Here's the following comments about JR's Turn off the TV Week declaration from my immediate family:

JR: I can't watch TV, or play Wii, or do anything electronical for the whole week.
My Dad: Oh my goodness. These Mountain People have brainwashed you!

(A note to the "Mountain People", my dad loves your physical fitness, healthiness, and native flora and fauna. He's just worried that the high number of Obama bumper stickers around town means that Turn off the TV Week is a governmental imposed agenda to keep people from watching Sean Hanity.)

Jason (on the phone on the way home from work): What's JR doing?
Me: Putting together a puzzle. He wants to do Turn off the TV Week.
Jason: He wants to do that? Wow, they've brainwashed him.
Me: That's exactly what my dad said!
Jason: I hope you don't think we're doing that.
Me: Puh-leaze. I'm on my computer right now and Dancing With the Stars is on tonight.

So yeah, JR's on his own on this one. Good thing MawMaw and PawPaw loaded him down with books from his school book fair. And whose genius idea was it to combine Grandparents' Day and the book fair? Genius I tell ya. I would have let JR buy one book, instead he walked out with a bag full. But seriously, just look how cute my Mountain Person and Country Folks are.

(JR's room at school, pre book fair)

PreTween Wolf

JR received his Tiger Badge for Cub Scouts last week. To say he was excited is an understatement. As you can see, Kyle and Reed wore their "tiger uniforms" to support big brother. This picture also proves that the excitement level was beyond measure as this was the best picture we could get. No really. It was the best one.

Here's most of our 1st grade guys. And in case you've been wondering what I did about my uniform problem (as in, I have a problem wearing the uniform) Well, you can see that I made up my own. A T-shirt and khaki skirt certainly don't have pink, sequins, and feathers...but it'll do.

And to top off the excitement of becoming a Wolf Cub. CAKE!

Cloudy with a Chance of Marshmallow Gusts

We're back in Durango from our mini vacay to Albuquerque. Although the staying in the hotel portion was fabulous, the shopping (I came home empty handed) and the warming up (I was freezing the whole time) was a disappointment.
How cold was it?
Well, one of our favorite things about staying in Hyatt resorts is the evening s'mores. Usually I have no problem knocking my way to the front of the s'more line, but not this time. I was shivering so bad it didn't even seem worth trying to make one of my own. My mom and I scooped Kyle and Reed up after a s'more each and made a mad dash back inside. (My mom and dad met us there and followed us back to Durango.) But not to worry, our loss was JR's gain. He was able to gulp down 4 of them before the marshmallows blew away in the giant gale force winds.

What's Most Exciting?

The excitement quotient is pretty high here.

Is it most exciting?

A. That Kyle is eating a tomato and salad
B. That there's also a bread stick on Kyle's plate meaning we're at Olive Garden. (And since the one in Farmington hasn't opened yet, we're at the closest one to our house- 4 hours away)
C. After Reed laid in the middle of the floor to color, none of the wait staff tripped over him.

The View From Here

And 'here' would be my hotel room in Albuquerque. JR had the day off today, (I'm still convinced it was for Earth Day) so the kids and I came down yesterday to warm up. And guess what? It's cold here too!

Happy Earth Day to Me

(And yes, you guessed right. I find Earth Day to be completely ridiculous.)

But this *cough, cough* holiday sure showed me. Here's what we woke up to this morning.

Obviously my excitement about a snow free yard was a little premature.

Nothing says spring in Colorado quite like a pair of snow covered flip-flops.

Wouldn't that make a great Country song title? "Snow Covered Flip-flops!"

Lighten up

I'm blogging from a stoplight because I'm so excited about my new highlights! Yipeee!

Reason #46 I Hate To Cook

I always get hurt.

Photo Evidence From Today:

And for an added flair of dramatics, I took the liberty of labeling my injury for you.

Thankfully I don't proclaim to be a good cook, so it makes the way this injury happened a little more bearable.

Ya know the old saying about not being able to boil water? Well, I was able to boil the water. And was even able to pour the boiling water in the sink...but then I somehow lost control of the stupid pot and the top of it (the pot) touched my arm.

Awesome.

Something Exciting Happened Last Night

And it's called....we have no more snow in our yard!

We're still wearing jackets, but now we're only digging in dirt. Woohoo!

And, seriously, don't be jealous of my brown yard.

It's amazing, I know.

Prom

Last night was Harry's prom. JR was furious that he was not going to prom, which is the reason for his absence from the picture. (Harry is in the glasses and Jason's tux vest from Beijing. His friend with him, Tong, is also an exchange student from China.) I was super surprised when Harry told us he was going to prom, and excited that he was going with a group of friends. He then said that a friend at school (who is a girl) had invited him. I started asking him, "Is she your date? Did she just ask you or other people too? Are the others in your group going with dates?" Of course Harry didn't know the answer to any of these questions, and since I live in a house full of boys, nobody else seemed concerned either. I couldn't stand the thought of some cute girl standing there without a corsage and a date that didn't even know he was her date. I quickly reverted back to my 17 year-old-self (which wasn't very hard since that was only 8 years ago...No snickering!) and called our babysitter. In typical high school fashion, she told me she was friends with the girl's brother and would call him and find out the situation. Within a few hours I had confirmation that, yes, they were all going as friends, but Harry wasn't her date.
Crisis averted, but one quickly followed.
We (and I'm sure you know who "we" really was) then had to convince Harry that a Michael Jordan Nike T-shirt and cargo pants were not proper prom attire. I found myself having a total Stacy and Clinton moment pulling outfits from Jason's closet. Or was I Tim Gunn? Either way, I was fabulous. I couldn't have been more excited when Harry was willing to wear the Chinese vest. I did good, right?
As the boys were leaving I gave them a heart-to-heart about how they should dance with the girls who weren't dancing cause the girls would really want to dance. I guess Harry took my advice because he told me he was leading the "dance train", which I'm pretty sure is his translation for conga line. And in my book conga line leader = successful night! Woohoo!

Fun New Games

Tears and hysterics were already abounding by 9:00 AM today. (I remember because I looked at my watch thinking surely it's almost lunch time.) I decided "we" needed to burn off some energy, so we took a little walk around the neighborhood. We brought DeDe along with us, (You might know him by his former name, Hunter. Reed and Kyle started calling him DeDe so that's what he gets called most of the time now.) and they actually were quite willing to share the leash. DeDe might be a fluffy Bichon, but he still weighs more than they do, so he's a lot of work for them. They played many rounds of their new favorite game, Throwing Rocks at the Stop Sign Because it Makes a Really Cool Sound. Unfortunately, they aren't tall enough to hit the sign, so they're really just throwing them at the post...and each other. I was quite sure we were going to have a David and Goliath moment as the rocks were ricocheting about. (Or at least another trip to the hospital.) So to entice them away, I promised them we'd play their other new favorite game when we got home. And before you look at these pictures, please remember we really do have more toys than I even want to think about. I promise, Grandmothers, this is what they want to do. I call this game: Moving Winter On Outta Here.

Read Any Good Books Lately?

How Come I'm Blogging in the Middle of the Afternoon?

Oh, cause I've just been relaxing my days away. (The picture is obviously me, right? Y'all know I don't do sunshine without a hat.) Yep, I've just got tons of free time since I've had a stay-at-home-mom-in-training helping out the last two days. (Did my sarcasm come through in that sentence?) Honestly, I'm pretty sure he can't wait to go back to school. To make a long story short, Harry had a little run in on the basketball court in P.E. As in, another kid "ran in to" Harry's fist. Thankfully the worst part of the run in was being expelled from school for three days. Jason and I talked about having him do some community service, but I didn't want him thinking that helping others was punishment. So, instead, he's been doing really fun things like: getting up early to babysit while I walk JR to the bus, loading and unloading the dishwasher, hanging up clean laundry in the closets, organizing the toy room, and supervising outdoor play. And I'm here to tell you, the "stay at home" part probably hasn't been that bad, but I'm quite certain he has no interest in becoming "a mom".

Dinner Theater

It's really hard keeping two-year-olds occupied while out to eat. And it doesn't help the situation that I bring absolutely nothing. Tell me we're taking them on a airplane and I'll have 3 days worth of entertainment. Tell me we're going out to eat and I don't even bring sippy cups...they can share a drink with me, right? Thankfully my sweet guys took entertainment into their own hands, and put on a great show for us the other night. (I apologize in advance for the picture quality, they were taken with my phone.)

Act 1: Imitations

Bret Michaels (without his weave)

Willie Nelson

Tupac

Act 2: Ingy Project Runway

Make a scarf from the materials provided.

And now a hat.

Act 3: History Reenactments

Playing the part of Pu Yi in The Last Emperor, Kyle really had to stretch his acting chops since Pu Yi was actually 3 when he took the throne.

From emperors to pharaohs, Reed plays King Tut.

And for the Big Finale:

Kyle's magic act...the disappearing plate trick

And Reed performs the Dance of the Seven Veils (with only two veils, Wow!)

Monday, Monday

Back to the grindstone....

Wanna Help Me With MY Homework?

Whether you personally know me or not, one thing you probably do know is that math and I are not friends. So you can imagine the fear that struck my heart when JR whipped out fractions for 1st grade homework. Okay, so I'm kidding (a little). I can do first grade math, but I really started to doubt myself when JR's homework came back looking like this.

Immediately I was mordified that I'd let JR miss all these. (He did it, and I checked it.) So I went to the experts. Luckily I have a mechanical engineer (by degree, anyway) as a husband and a Chinese kid living in my house. Math? Yeah, we should have it covered. And since the engineer and the Chinese kid can't figure out what's wrong (and Facebook friends have confirmed that number 4 is right) I'm bringing it to you. Ideas?

Tigers, and Demons, and Baseball...Oh My!

JR loves being a Cub Scout. Like crazy, insane loves it. (JR loves to win, so I think he thinks he's "winning" all these patches he's earning.) He's going to the high school baseball game with his den this afternoon, and that will complete everything they need to do to earn their tiger badge. He has been so excited about this baseball game (And yes, he's been to see the Astros play a few times and hardly looked at the field) that we even had to pray for the game last night.
As prayers were over JR said, "Mommy can I add to prayers?"
Me: Sure
JR: Dear Lord, We pray that the Durango Demons baseball team will be the winners tomorrow, and they will beat the other team, and always be the winners.
(I'm thinking we should have actually prayed for Durango to change their mascot. I can't think of a worse mascot than the "demons". Ugh!)

Then, this morning at 6:30, I heard the elephant thud of JR's feet hitting the floor. Five seconds later my head was on the receiving end of a pile driver as JR landed atop my pillow. Jason was about to walk out the door, and in quick self defense mode I said, "Hurry! Go find your daddy." A few elephant thuds down the hall later I heard:
JR: Hi Daddy!
Jason: Hi JR, What are you doing up so early?
JR: DADDY! I GET TO GO TO THE DURANGO DEMONS BASEBALL GAMES THIS AFTERNOON, AND THEN I GET TO BE A TIGER, AND A WOLF, AND A BOBCAT! I'M SO EXCITED I CAN'T SLEEP!
Jason: Well Buddy, I don't think all those things are going to happen at 6:30 in the morning.

Yeah, we're just a little excited about this afternoon. And when I say "we", I completely and totally mean "only JR".

Awesomely Bad Hair

Today's pictures speak for themselves.

Presenting: Kyle's after-swim hair.




Awesome.

The Seriously Serious Chef

The Seriously Serious Chef (Reed) has advanced past just bringing his own stool to the island to help cook. He's now started meal planning. (Praise the Lord! I hate meal planning worse than cooking.)

We were in the grocery store the other day and he literally jumped out of the cart trying to get to the "make your own strawberry shortcake" display. We didn't think much of it when he demanded to hold the package of shortcakes, but when he screamed hysterically as Jason took the cakes for a second to be scanned, we knew something was up. Not only did he carry the shortcakes to the car, he refused to get in the car without them. Then he held them the whole way home. We even stopped at Sonic, but he wasn't letting go of those cakes.

I finally got them away from him (when we got home) by promising to make strawberry shortcake right away. Which pleased the Master Chef immensely.

Oh , and if you're wondering if JR eats strawberry shortcake, the answer would be no. He informed us he'd take his strawberry shortcake with just "cake and whip cream". When we informed him that he could only have the cake and whip cream with a strawberry there was wailing and gnashing of teeth like you wouldn't believe. Obviously he gets his dramatic flair from his daddy.

Egg-n 'Em On

I've always celebrated Easter at my cousin's house. (And when I say "always" I'm talking the last 20+ years, so yeah, always.) We made the trek down to Texas last Easter and learned that a weekend trip full of airplanes and rent cars with this pack of kids is not exactly easy or relaxing. We made the decision to stay here, but realized we have no Easter traditions of our own, and had no idea how we should spend the day.
Jason wanted to have an Easter brunch after church so we headed out to the Sky Ute Casino. Yes, I'm painfully aware of the irony of going to a casino for Easter Brunch, but they have a nice buffet, and it's not like we spent the afternoon at the slot machines.

We knew just an Easter brunch wasn't enough for this family, so a few days before Easter I emailed some of our neighbors to come over for an egg hunt. It was a beautiful day and with 11 kids coming over, the bouncy house, and all our riding toys, it turned into a little party. (And you know how we love a party!)

We started off with two dozen cascarones (confetti eggs). None of the kids or parents had seen them before, so JR was excited to show everybody how they worked. And of course, the kids loved them.

Kyle loved them so much that when all the cascarones were gone, he went and found the plastic hiding eggs and started smashing them on his own head. Of course he was showered in candy instead of confetti, but he liked that just as much.

After the celebratory cascarones, it was time for the egg hunt. Here's the egg hunt starting line.

And now for the absolute best part. I have no pictures of the egg hunt or the rest of the party. I was actually enjoying talking and visiting so much that I forgot all about taking pictures. Now that's a sign of a fun day!

Photoshop

After we finished the Easter Bunny at 6:55 (I know. JR is still under the impression that the Easter Bunny and Santa's gifts are going to be on par.) we started getting ready for church. As soon as JR saw his outfit, he ran and cowered in the corner screaming "Nooo!" I was utterly appalled at the thought of a Tony Hawk skateboarding T-shirt as Easter Sunday attire. (Especially with no little girls to dress up.) But after some high-intensity-military-like negotiations, we agreed that he could wear shorts if he'd wear the rest of the outfit.
And yes, JR (like his father) still can't take a picture if there's one drop of sunlight in the sky. (Not to worry, Jason's squinting picture to follow.)


I fixed the squinting problem. But then Kyle and Reed decided they needed balls as props.

This was the one and only family picture we took. Jason couldn't handle the sun in his eyes either, so we gave up after one shot.

Now, you might notice that I'm wearing a sleeveless dress while the rest of the family is in sweaters and there's snow in the yard. Well, being that I was raised in The South here's a few southern Easter dress lessons that I still abide by:

A. You will have a new dress. It must be in spring colors, no black.

B. You need an Easter bonnet. Little girls also need new patent leather white shoes, a new white purse, and white gloves with lace around the cuffs.

C. You will wear your new Easter dress even if "a norther" or "cold spell" has blown in.

And it seems the rule here in Colorado is if the temperature is above freezing, summerware is perfectly acceptable. So the way I see it, I passed both the southern and Coloradoan fashion rules on that one.

Stay tuned for photos from the 1st Annual Ingy Egg Hunt!

One Last Peep

Okay, so I've only got a few more hours to talk Peeps before Easter is over, so I'll hurry this along. We hosted an egg hunt/mini Easter party for our neighbors this afternoon, and here's one of the things I served. The pictures I saw of this on the Internet were much cuter than how mine turned out, but the kids loved it. I'm talking loved it. Big hit.

Peeps Blue Raspberry Sparkle

Happy Easter!

"Why do you seek the living One among the dead? He is not here, but He has risen!" Luke 24:5-6