Soooo, Hobby Lobby, let's have a little chat, shall we.
Now, you know I love you. You are truly one of my favorite stores. But I've got a real issue here. Besides having no reasonably priced flocked Christmas tress, (And by 'reasonably priced' I mean, priced where Jason wouldn't notice anything out of the ordinary on the credit card bill so he wouldn't notice the new flocked tree hiding in the garage. And no, I'm not hiding spending money from him, I'm hiding the actual Christmas trees!) you have also blatantly discriminated against my kind.
And what would 'my kind' be exactly?
Frequent jazz hands user?
Fan of feathers and sparkles?
First one to suggest costumes for the slightest of occasions?
But, Hobby Lobby, you have those demographics covered. 'The kind' I'm talking about are those of us with "I" last names. Because apparently, Hobby Lobby, you don't think we I-people are worthy enough to supply for.
Case and point:
What's that letter that seems to be missing? The letter that comes between 'H' and 'J'?
Oh that's right.
I guess we I-people don't like decorative initial pumpkins.
Well that would be where you are wrong, Hobby Lobby. I would love a decorative initial pumpkin! And if it weren't for your amazing fabulosity in every other way, I'd be deciding who would be the recipient of my first phone call. Nancy Grace? Geraldo? Gloria Allred?
Consider this your warning, Hobby Lobby. I'm watching you...and the prices of your flocked Christmas trees.