Chapstick-A Tale of Woe

So instead of dying of embarrassment, I'll just go ahead and put it out here:
When JR got home from school yesterday he casually mentioned, "Oh, by the way, Mommy, you don't need to put any Chapstick on me tonight. I got some at school." Knowing that JR doesn't take Chapstick to school I pressed further.
Me: What? Whatd'ya mean?
JR: I went to see the doctor at school, and he put some on me.
Me: The nurse put Chapstick on you? Did you ask him too?
JR: No, Mrs. (I forgot her name, but she's the music teacher) sent me. And then the doctor put it on, so you don't need to put any on me tonight. Okay?
Me: The teacher sent you to the nurse for Chapstick?! Oh my goodness! I'm so embarrassed!
JR: I know! Can you believe she would send me down for Chapstick?
Me: I'm not embarrassed for the teacher! I'm embarrassed for you...and me!
I can only imagine what this woman must think of my mothering skills. But as y'all know, I'm trying my hardest to get Chapstick, Blistex, lotion, I think I even tried to sneak some Neosporin on this child. You should see the dramatics during the "home doctoring" sessions. Squeals, jumps, flailing, and flinching don't even describe the half of it. And actually, I have no idea where he gets his hatred of moisturizing. Jason has Chapsticks strategically located in our house, car, and his office. And I'm so greased up that I usually have to de-grease before leaving the house. But now that I've shared my tale of embarrassment for all to hear, I think I'll go ahead and give the school a call. I need to find out what they put on his face...it actually does look better!