Washin' the Wears

So this is one of those posts my mom will read and probably say,

(insert Texas accent about 5X stronger than mine) "Oh my goodness! I can't believe she's putting that out there on the Internet!"

 

But I think it's funny, so here goes.

I do the laundry twice a week.  Always on Mondays and then on Thursdays or Fridays.

I did laundry on Friday last week, so that means yesterday I washed clothes that were worn on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.

Here's the clean underwear. (Don't worry, Mom, not mine!)

That's one pair of underwear for JR, and ten pair for Kyle and Reed!

That means in 3 days:

JR didn't change his underwear! (hiding my head in shame)

And Kyle and Reed?

Welllll, It looks like Kyle's been changing his underwear every time he puts on a new outfit.  (Which, as we know about our fashionista, can be quite a few times a day.)

But that's not the end of the story. 

All day I was so upset about my lack of parenting of JR.
How could I not notice that the child didn't change his underwear for 3 days?

But then...
last night...

I was almost redeemed!

As JR was getting undressed for his shower, he said, "Oh! I have on two pair of underwear."

You can't imagine how excited I was to see another pair of underwear.

I hadn't been an absentee parent!

He wore clean underwear to school on Friday, not changed them Saturday, (which we can let slide since he's a 7 year old boy) put on a new pair Sunday morning, and then in a morningtime fog, put a clean pair over the old pair Monday morning!

Yes!

Yeah me!
I'm not a bad mom!

Except.....

I had no idea my poor child wore 2 pair of underwear all day long. 

Oh yeah.  Oops.

Soooo Pretty

After all the machoism of the Super Bowl, I thought we'd go in a completely different direction today. 

But before we do, I seriously gained 5lbs watching a game that I could care less about.  But when yummies are available at a Super Bowl party that look like this...well, I just can't help myself.

Anyway, It seems like I'm a magnet for "interesting folks" who live here in Durango.

If somebody is going to say or do something even slightly unusual, they're going to say or do it to me.

Right before I left for Reno I ran by the Durango Mall (although it shouldn't even be allowed to have the word 'mall' in the title) to Beall's to buy some make-up. 

As I was looking for what I wanted, a salesman approached me. I looked up, and noticed he was wearing a full face of make-up.

Now, had he been in full on Ru Paul drag, I probably wouldn't have thought twice about it.

But since he was dressed in men's clothes, but had a gorgeous face of "night-on-the-town make-up", I was quite taken aback.

I couldn't figure out what to say.

Was I supposed to act like this was normal?

Was I supposed to compliment him? (His make-up really was pretty.)

I was at a lost.

After he asked me if I'd just gotten my eyebrows waxed (I had), and offered me some cooling gel for them, I felt like we were bonding and decided I had to say something.

Me: Your eyelashes look amazing.  Are they fake, or are they yours?

(I figured that was a compliment I would like, and his eyelashes really did look good.)

Sales guy: No, their mine. But I used the mascara that you're getting in your Clinique Bonus Gift!

Me: Oh, Awesome! I'll be sure to try it out.

When I told my mom this story, she (who's obviously way more worldly than I am) acted like this was nothing new.  "Oh, all the M-A-C make-up salesman in Vegas look like that.  And when they make you up, they make you look like a drag queen!  But ya know, nobody's prettier than a drag queen!"

Completing the Trilogy

I figured I'd just go with the Walmart trifecta today since I have another story.

One day last week (or the week before, I can't remember) we walked in Walmart when Kyle started screaming "Bear! Bear! Big Bear!"

Thinking he saw a stuffed bear on a shelf, I said, "Oh, a bear? Where do you see a bear?"

But he was already running down the aisle.

Now if you're one of those observant people, you may be thinking, "Jan, how did you take that picture when I can see you pushing the cart behind the kids?"  (Yes, that's me back there.)

Well, besides a giant Coke bear, there was also Walmart paparazzi present.

 Why does Walmart staff their own paparazzi?

I have no idea.

Why was the giant Coke polar bear hanging in the Durango Walmart at 9:00 AM on a weekday?

No idea.

I am, however, thrilled to see that even my cellphone pictures are better quality than this sad bunch taken by "professionals".
 

Manners Matter Monday

Overheard the other day...

Reed: Kyle, do you want to play toys with me?
Kyle: Uh-huh.
Reed: Don't you say 'uh-huh' to me! You say, 'Yes, ma'am'!

Naughty Number Nine

1. I know I've mentioned many-a-time before that I am not a math person.
2. I have also mentioned that I'm thankful beyond measure that JR seems to have inherited his daddy's math brain.

So with those two issues reiterated, here's how our dinner conversation went last night:

(Quick backstory: JR's been working through some cheapy workbooks I bought so he could keep his reading and math skills up this summer.)

Me: Can you believe JR can count by 9's? I couldn't count by 9's if you made me.
Jason: 9's are easy. It's just 10 minus 1, right JR?
Me: (I think for a second.) Yeah, that doesn't work for me. 20 minus 1 is 19, not 18, so that doesn't even make sense.
Jason: Where did you get 20?
Me: You told me it's tens minus one.
Jason. No. Just think logically... (I tuned out the "logical" explanation, but then he proceeded to count by 9's up into the 100's)
Me: No really, stop. I don't want to learn to count by 9's. I just want you to be impressed that your son can do it. Go ahead JR, show Daddy.

JR does.
Reed begins counting his fingers.
(At this point my heart starts racing since waaaay too many numbers are being shouted out for my math-phobic liking. My baby, Kyle, knew better than to upset me with numbers. He just kept eating his 4th pickle of the night. )

Jason: I am impressed. That's awesome, JR.
Me: Good job, Reed.

Later, after JR is gone:

Me: Okay, so I know you're going to laugh at me, so just go ahead and laugh, but division is next in JR's book. And, um, so division is just the opposite of multiplication, right?
Jason: Do you know how to divide?
Me: Yes, I know how to divide! I'm just not really sure how to teach it.

Jason then starts giving me examples of division problems. Of course what I heard was The Peanuts teacher's voice, 'waa. waa. waa. waa. waa.' Although I did hear something about 12 divided by 4, so I was quick to holler out '3!' since I knew that was right. (And please don't comment if it's not.)

So what did all that math talk teach me? (Besides how to count by 9's.)
Basically, that there's really no need to rush division. I mean, the summer's almost over, right? I'm thinkin' we can just make some more decorative cookies instead!

Not So Dorky, But Pretty Embarrassing

So I was at The Children's Place with JR trying to do some school shopping. I promised him we could have all his shopping done in 10 minutes. But of course JR was trailing behind me saying, "It's past 10 minutes. It's been like 100 minutes. I think it's been like a million minutes, so we are done!"
I was showing him shirts which he would either ignore (I take that as a 'yes') or tell me were "hideous". I was throwing the 'yes' shirts over my arms or shoulders and trying to get out of there as fast as possible (for both of us). After we checked out we headed down the big, fancy- shmancy mall (Oh how I love going to a real mall. Have I mentioned in the last 5 minutes that the closest real mall to Durango is 4 hours away?) and headed into a few more stores. We covered quite a distance and even had to use the escalator. As we were walking back to the playground to meet up with the rest of the family, I looked down and noticed that I still had a Children's Place shirt draped over my shoulder. I stoped and said, "Oh no! JR, look! I've been walking around with this shirt over my shoulder! I walked out of the store with it."
JR: Oh no! You stole it! The police are going to arrest you!
Sadly, I wasn't as concerned about my new life of crime as I was embarrassed that I'd been walking around the mall with a T-shirt slung over my shoulder.
I went back to The Children's Place and announced "I'm here to pay for the T-shirt I stole from you." The girl behind the counter laughed and told me it happens all the time. Although it's usually because moms hang clothes from their strollers and then forget about them!

Wow, This is Dorky

Before I start I just want everybody to know that, yes, I'm very aware of the nerdyness of this post.
My obsession all started because JR really loves puzzles. He's good at them, but it's hard to find ones that are challenging enough without being crazy hard. I bought him a 750 piece puzzle for his birthday thinking it might fit the bill. He had fun working on it, but there was no way he was going to finish it anytime in the next 5 years. So while JR was visiting the other grandparents in Houston, I decided that I'd do most of the puzzle for him, then he could just swoop in and finish it up.
Yeah, um, I got a little too into this puzzle.
I literally had dreams about it. The night my mom and I finished it not only were we crawling around on our hands and knees looking for missing pieces, but I had her lift the dinning room table up so I could look under the base. (She's surprisingly strong for a woman her age. Which since I was 25 this year, makes her 40. Sorry, Mom, if I made you too old.) Oh, and did I mention that we were doing all this at 1:30 in the morning. Yeah, I'm admitting the craziness. Obviously there was no JR swooping in at the end, cause I was finishing this baby. We never found 7 of the pieces (not that I was counting or anything) but with two little ones that also love to "help", I think we did pretty good!

So it is with my greatest pleasure I present to you: One Hundred Dogs and a Cat

Thanks for looking cause if I hadn't posted this, I might have had to glue it together and hang it on my wall.

Really Toothless Tuesday

There was wailing and gnashing of (missing) teeth the other night when JR lost yet another tooth. Why the dramatics for a seemingly happy occasion? Well, according to JR, he swallowed it. My mom claimed it shot out of his mouth. Either way, we never found the tooth. I did, however, find JR face down on the couch in full shoulder jerking sobs. He was crying that one time Harry had told him he swallowed a tooth and The Tooth Fairy didn't come. (JR completely missed that those were two different stories. The Tooth Fairy never came to see Harry, and on a side note, one time he swallowed one of his loose teeth.) We tried everything to cheer him up. Here were some of our comments:

My mom: We'll write her a note. It's fine. We'll write her a note.
Me: JR, It's okay. Don't worry about what Harry told you. She never came to see him. The Tooth Fairy is an American. She only takes teeth from American kids. How could she work in China too? She'd never get to sleep!
*JR continues his hysterics*
My dad: The Tooth Fairy is just like Jesus. She knows everything!
My mom (busy writing and cutting out): Here take this*. Put this under your pillow.

*And here is a picture of 'this'. (Picture taken the next day, hence the lack of tears.)

And being that The Tooth Fairy is an American-who-only-works-in-America-and-knows-everything-just-like-Jesus, she did come. Only too bad for her since JR stuck his tooth under his pillow where she couldn't actually find it. Needless to say, The Tooth Fairy only picks up real teeth...but isn't that nice of her to still dole out cash for fake ones!

Brainwashed Part 2

Well, I do believe The Mountain People have officially gotten to JR. Here's what he looked like bright and early.



And when I tried to have a conversation with him, it went something like this:

Me: JR, What do you want for breakfast?
JR (without opening an eyeball): Don't disturb me. I'm doing my morning yoga.

WooHoo! Or was it a YeeHaw?

I had the best night last night! Jason and I went to a fundraiser put on by the Durango Pregnancy Center. It was a fun night with all of our favorites: silent auction, live auction, and my personal fav-costuming. (This is my friend, Shelly, and me modeling our western attire.) I was a little depressed about my western wear as I left the house. As I stood in front of our 17 year-old babysitter and her boyfriend I said, "Whada ya think? Do I look Taylor Swifty?" And the looks on their faces confirmed that, no, they did not think I looked Taylor Swifty. (On the bright side, they did say they thought my boots were cool.)
And although I wasn't passing for Taylor Swift's twin (my brown hair and 8 inches I need to grow come to mind just for starters), the night really began to pick up as I "won" many of the silent auction items. (Jason says I shouldn't use the word "won" since we actually have to buy the items, but the way I see it, I outbid somebody else, so yes, I am the winner. ) Then things got really exciting when Jason "won" a live auction item. I, of course, had to jump up, do a little dance, and woo-hoo (or maybe it was a yee-haw since it was a western night). And as exciting as that was, that still wasn't the best part of the night. A little later I was in the bathroom and heard two girls (sounded high school age) have the following conversation:

Girl A: Ugh. These auctions are so boring.
Girl B: Oh, I know.
Girl A: But did you see that girl that jumped up and cheered when she won. That was funny.
Girl B: Oh I know, that was so cute.

Yes, my friends, these girls called me a "girl"!
Not "lady", not "woman", but girl.

I wanted to burst out of the stall and hug them! But not wanting them to think I had completely lost my mind, I just waited til they left before I came out.

Yep, this girl had the best. night. ever.

Did You See Me?

Did you see me today? Yeah, that was me, the one who opened up a package of Sour Patch Kids in the middle of Target. That was also me feeding them to my children as fast as I could to keep them quiet and inside the basket. Did you also see me switching baskets halfway through the shopping trip and getting the basket with seats in front, which have the ever important over the shoulder harness seat belts?

Did you see me at the Farmington mall? And I use the word 'mall' only because it's an indoor covered shopping area and has a Sbarro's. Did you see that I had forgotten our stroller? So then you must have seen Kyle immediately jerk the first 70% off Christmas decoration he could find on top of his head and cover himself in glitter. Yeah, that was probably his plan all along. You know Kyle, he loves the glitz.

Did you see me tell Reed that was the best idea ever when he jumped inside the double car stroller? Best $5 I ever spent. Did you see how I left the car stroller in the middle of the parking lot? It wasn't worth getting a $1 back to maneuver to the car strollerless. Plus somebody else will get a free stroller + $1. You know me, always looking out for others. Speaking of looking out for others, if you were looking out for us today then I'm sure you saw the boys riding in the stroller the "correct" way for about 5 minutes. After that you saw them riding standing up, switching places from front to back while the stroller was in motion, demanding to hold my drink from lunch, and pulling this little escape plan...while I was still pushing!

Now I know you saw us at Hobby Lobby. My favorite part was when the manager had to chase after Kyle when they went running down separate aisles. That was almost as fun as waiting in line at the framing counter behind the woman who was taking her sweet time as my kids screamed at the top of their lungs. Didn't you love those dirty looks she was giving me? They were almost as good as the eye-rolling I was doing over all the ridiculous "art" she was having framed.
And you must have spotted us on the ride home when Kyle refused to take a nap, or when he woke Reed up trying to dig a toy out of his car seat.
Yep, I'm quite sure you saw me today!

JR Vs Food

One of JR's highlights of the Texas trip was going to the Big Texan Steak Ranch in Amarillo. Ever since JR saw the Man Vs Food episode of his favorite TV personality, Adam Richmond, eating the 72 oz steak, baked potato, shrimp cocktail, dinner salad, and a roll in about 28 minutes he's been dying to go there. (He also wants to go to the restaurant in Seattle that serves the 12 egg omelet, but that'll have to be another trip.) In preparation for our visit to the Big Texan, JR watched the Amarillo episode 3 or 4 times (Thanks, Netflix) and was a bit confused thinking the restaurant was also called "Amarillo", which explained his repeated question of "when are we going to Amarillo?" Not something many people ask. None of us tried the 72oz steak challenge (if you eat everything in an hour you get the $72 meal for free), but I'm still convinced Harry could have done it.

It's obvious this place is a huge tourist trap. But it's actually a fun and tasty tourist trap. The best way I know to describe it (and only my Houstonian readers will get this) it's like the Gallery Furniture of restaurants. It's huge! It has also expanded to include a hotel and a "horse hotel". Bonus for me...it was decorated for Christmas!

JR was beyond excited when we sat down and discovered this on the menu.

Harry and Jason decided to go with the Man Vs Food tribute (JR would have had a conniption fit if they hadn't) which is the same as the challenge except the steak is only 1/4 the size.

And what does all this food look like?

Salad.

"Shrimp Cocktail". (Yes, I'm very much aware those are fried shrimp, but on the episode Adam refers to them as 'shrimp cocktail', and if Adam says they're shrimp cocktail, then JR says they're shrimp cocktail!)

Steak (but only 18 oz.)

Baked potato (oops, not pictured.)

Also included, dinner rolls almost as big as Kyle's head. (They were delicious!)

JR wanted to have his own Man Vs Food challenge and ordered the kid's steak. He was so excited he didn't even mind that there was a piece of garnish on his plate. (And you know that means he was beyond excited since under normal circumstances any sort of green colored food on or near his plate would render the rest of the food inedible.)

Reed was too busy with his artwork and skillet o' fries to help cheer JR on...

And with a celebratory jump and squeal, JR finished off his steak. In this battle of JR vs Food, JR won!

He then enjoyed another dinner roll (3 total). Check out that clean plate...with the garnish still there...He didn't even make us take it off! Do you think Adam Richmond would mind joining us for dinner every night? Sigh...

And how do you end the evening after a big steak? Rocking in a Texas size rocker, of course!

So That's What They Do In There

JR got off the bus yesterday and the first thing out of his mouth was, "Mom, You don't need to look in the front pocket of my backpack. There's nothing in there today." So of course I opened his front pocket immediately and found "a white slip". (Which means he had to go to the Principal's office.) And what did I (in my amazing mom-ness) do as I read what offense my son had committed? I laughed out loud. Yep, I did. Luckily, JR wasn't paying attention at that exact moment, so I didn't blow my cover. JR's infraction? And I quote: "JR dared another student to climb on top of the toilet and look over the stall." Come on! Am I seriously supposed to get mad about that? That's hilarious, right? Of course, Jason had nearly the same reaction as I did. Unfortunately for JR, he did get in trouble at home because he lied about the incident at school, and then tried to sign my name to his white slip so he didn't have to show me.

And if you know me, you know I have the white slip signatures to share with you. Poor JR. JR, Babe, if you're going to forge a signature with bad handwriting at least sign your daddy's name...it's way more realistic.

Don't Pass The Buck

Well I guess I'm giving up my dreams of a career in technology because now my email isn't uploading pictures. Looks like my literary stylings will just have to stand alone once again. But not to worry, this is one of those stories you can file under "it has to be true because there's no way I could make this stuff up". So besides high speed Internet, this little East Texas town of 500 also lacks a large selection of entertainment venues for the babies. Luckily my dad came up with the idea for us to drive over to Madisonville (about 40 miles away) to check out the new Buc-ee's. If you know what Buc-ee's is: Yes, you read that right, we drove 40 miles to check it out. If you don't know what Buc-ee's is: It's a really big gas station/convenience store/souvenir store with really clean bathrooms. And yes, we drove 40 miles to check it out. But even worse that us driving that far to go to Buc-ee's, was me running around Buc-ee's taking pictures of the babies so I could post them on here! How sad do you think the other Buc-ee's patrons think my life is that I'm taking pictures of my kids at the Madisonville Buc-ee's? My parents have actually been to this new Buc-ee's before. That was the time my mom spent $14 on 6 pieces of fudge...or was it $25 on 12 pieces? or $36 on 8 pieces? The price and the number of pieces changes everytime I hear the story so I'm not exactly sure. Needless to say, my mom is still shell-shocked over what she felt was overpriced fudge, so according to her all the candy in Buc-ee's is expensive. Under normal circumstances the babies would have left with arm fulls of candy and sweets, but since the fudge incident is still fresh in her mind, they only waddled out with an ICEE (one for each of them, of course). While I was perusing all that Buc-ee's had to offer, I did notice they sell 14 different types of beef jerky. Jason loves beef jerky so I quickly called him to report. Jason could have cared less, since he was more interested in telling me that we are now the proud owners of a quarter of a steer. (Surely half of a pig, a quarter of a steer, and my mastery of the crockpot will keep Harry full.) Yep, just another exciting day in the country.

Chicken Dance

I've been trying to upload pictures for what feels like hours now, so I'm finally giving up. You'll just have to visualize the absolute cuteness of the two-day old chicks my daddy has been raising in a dog kennel. This post was supposed to be pictures of super cute baby chicks being looked at by my super cute babies...a cuteapalooza, if you will. But since I can't sugar coat your eyes with cuteness, you'll just have to visualize the sitcom antics that were my mom and me chasing baby chicks around the yard this morning. My dad called from work and told my mom to go out and check and see if anymore chicks had hatched. (He had moved all 9 of the two-day old chicks to a big incubator in the chicken coop, but still had about 4 eggs in the dog kennel.) The babies, my mom, and me all made the trek out to the barn to check the chick situation. (One of the eggs had hatched.) As we were heading back toward the house, we heard baby chick cheeping coming from under the barn, then a baby chick ran by. My mom screamed, "Oh no! All the chicks are out! They've escaped!" Not one to let my mom outdo me in the dramatics department, "Oh no! Daddy's going to die if anything happens to these chicks!" Before I knew it, my mom was gone and I found myself chasing a black baby chick with help from Kyle and Reed. I rationalized that the chick should respond to me similar to the babies so I called, "Here little baby chick, come to Mama." And the little black chick actually waddled over and climbed in my hand. (Kyle really wanted to hold it, but I was afraid he might just love it too much.) About that time I hear my mom coming. Phone to her ear she's telling my dad, "All the chicks are out. Jan's chasing them all over the yard. Well, she's got one in her hand now." Next thing I knew, I was on the phone with my dad. "Yeah Daddy, I'm holding one now. They were running around under the barn." My dad told us to find as many as we could, and put them back in the incubator. We then started chasing a little yellow chick. This one didn't respond to me like the black chick did, and I was pretty sure Kyle was going to step on it since he was right in the middle of the chick chasing. By this time, my mom was definitely tired of chasing chicks, she swooped in and grabbed that yellow chick up like nobody's business. After the chicks were put away she turned to me and said, "I don't even want these things and here I am having to chase them! I never imagined myself having to chase bittys around the yard!" Y'all think I'm not very outdoorsy? You should meet my mom. Anything that might mess up her hair is definitely not on the approved list of enjoyable activities. After things had calmed down she said, "I don't think those chicks could have gotten out of that incubator and lived. I think those chicks hatched under the barn." And my mom, lover of indoors, was completely right. The chicks we were chasing didn't get out of the incubator, they were "hatched under the barn chicks"! As we were discussing the chick activities of the day my dad's new peacocks walked by. He said, "Ya know, peacocks live 30 years." I said, "Oh my goodness, I'm going to have to be dealing with these same peacocks when I'm an old woman." To which my mom quickly replied, "Welcome to my life."

Hadn't Heard That One Before...

Yes, Jason's dad's 70th birthday extravaganza was a success. And you know it just wouldn't be an 'event' unless I had a story for you. So you'd think a 70 year old birthday party would have an older male clientele, and I'd be the one getting hit on. But alas, it was my husband who was on the receiving end of a pick-up line that I'm quite sure won't be catching on anytime soon. Jason and I were on the dance floor when a woman stumbled up to us. She got inbetween Jason and me like I wasn't even standing there, and quick as could be, she was all over him. And what was her big come on line?
Gesturing with her hands up and down her body: "I'm an all natural 52 year old."
Now you know I couldn't make this up. Jason's comment to me, "I guess I really do need to dye my hair if All Natural 52 year olds are thinking they can come on to me."
Today we were telling my mom this story and she says, "Jan? What did you do?"
Me: "Um, I just stood there and laughed."
My mom: "What? Loretta Lynn wouldn't have stood for that! She would have whooped that woman!"
So basically I've been away from Colorado for 48 hours and I've had a 52 year old Cougar try to steal my husband, and my mom preach from the playbook of Loretta Lynn. Seriously Y'all, Don't Mess With Texas.

Food Network Better Give Me My Own Show For This

It seems my life has revolved around food lately. Which would be perfectly fine if I wasn't the one having to cook it! Just a little FYI, Chinese teenage boys can eat. They might eat rice everyday in China, but they aren't eating it here. Jason didn't really believe me when I told him Harry ate an entire poppy seed chicken casserole, but after watching him devour 3/4 of a tator tot casserole, Jason gave me the "you were right" look. In fact, I was "so right" that Jason called me today to tell me he had bought an FFA hog to split with a friend, and was trying to find 3 other people to go in with him for a steer. (You can stop laughing, I'm actually being completely serious.) I figure I'll tell the Durangoans that we think it's important to eat organic meat instead of that I'm trying to feed a Chinese teenager.

I admit it freely, I have no shame: I am not a cook. I don't pretend to be a cook, I don't like to cook, and quite frankly...it makes me nervous. I'm okay with baking (which must be the reason I like to make casseroles). But browning meat is as much skillet work as I'm comfortable with (and I've just recently mastered that). But you know what's even worse than having to cook? The meal planning. Oh my goodness...It's a nightmare! I can't just whip something up from what I've got in the kitchen, so I actually have to preplan what I'm going to serve for the week. And believe me, I'm saving these "weekly menus" and they are going into heavy rotation once I run out of ideas. So here's the deal: if you've got any easy (and keep in mind what's easy for you probably isn't easy for me) recipes that don't require a lot of "stove action", I'm all ears. I'm great at casseroley type things and I LOVE the crock-pot. And DO NOT send me anything made by Rachel Ray (I tried to make one of her 30-minute meals once and it was a total disaster. Not only did Jason have to come to my rescue, it took us an hour and half to get something on the table. Even Jason thought her recipes were hard.)

And just to prove that I'm actually cooking everynight, I have pictures. Now one of these pictures has already been accused of being a fake when I posted it on Facebook. But, sadly, they are all too real. And why do I look so happy when I hate cooking you might ask? Smiling through my pain, my friends....smiling through my pain....

And if you're wondering how I'm typing this post during the dinner hour....I've got a lasagna in the oven, baby!

Of Course I've Got a Story

I'm coming to you tonight from Amarillo, Texas. Home of the "Free 72 Ounce Steak" (if you can eat the steak, side salad, roll, shrimp cocktail, and baked potato in less than an hour). The drive was pretty decent. The babies really like Handy Manny so the HM DVD was in full rotation. Of course it wouldn't be a trip if I didn't have at least one good story for you: So we decided to eat lunch about an hour outside of Ft. Worth at a Burger King. It was a BK inside a big gas station/convenience store so there was a crowded parking lot with lots of cars coming and going, and it was right there on the interstate. My mom and I got out of the car and both left our car doors open. I got Reed out of his car seat and started changing his diaper (I change diapers in the car because I really don't like bathroom changing stations.) As I was changing his diaper, my mom was still struggling to get Kyle out of his car seat. About that time I looked up and said, "Where's Hunter?" At this point I've got a half diapered 18 month old, a furious 18 month old that's half strapped to a car seat, and a 6 year old screaming, "Hunter's my puppy! I love him! Where is he?" My mom grabs JR by the hand and they start looking for him (leaving Kyle half straped to the car seat). She's asking everyone if they'd seen him, and I'm starting to plan my story on how I'm going to break it to Jason that I lost our dog. Finally a man rolls down his window and says, "Are you looking for a poodle? It went that way." As my mom rounds the corner to the store entrance, she sees a lady coming out the door holding Hunter. I'm telling ya, ever since we left him with Crazy Dog Lady he has been so weird. He basically jumped out the front car door, ran around the store, and went inside! Luckily we have him back, although I thought I better get the story out there because my mom is already retelling it...with embellishments!

Ice It Down

My mom has been furious with me since I told her that I bought the babies an ICEE the other day, and horror of all horrors...I made them share! *Gasp!* Since then, she's repeatedly lectured me on how Kyle and Reed are two people and they each need all their own stuff. So today as we were driving home in the 104 degree heat, one of the babies let out a squeal. I was then quickly informed by my mother that the babies were hot, and only an ICEE would make them feel better. Never one to shy away from the dramatics, she also threw in there something about them overheating and sweating. Surprise, Surprise, somehow only an ICEE could cure these ailments. So, yes, I caved under the pressure and stoped so she could get "her babies" an ICEE...but not before she asked them what flavor they wanted. So here they are enjoying their own individual ICEEs on the ride home...and apparently they told her they wanted cherry.

(You'll notice Reed had to have a little help since he wasn't about to let go of his new ball he had just gotten at the mall.)

Fireworks!

JR put on quite the fireworks show for us this evening. Okay, so "sparkler show" would be a more accurate description. But whatever it was, it was full of JR flair and dramatics. Towards the end of the evening's performance my mom suggested we sing a 4th of July song. She then said, "How 'bout She'll be Commin' 'Round the Mountain?" Now you know I just couldn't let that one slip by. Me:"Um, I can think of about 300 more songs that are more appropriate for 4th of July than that one." Thankfully Sherry started singing God Bless America. After God Bless America, I broke into my own rendition of Proud to be an American. Now, I know my boogieing ability is second to none, but I had no idea I was such the songstress. As soon as I finished, coyotes started howling! Oh yes they did. And I'm quite certain that coyote howling is reserved for only the most fabulous of singing!